A big part of my life will be coming to an end after this Saturday. I won't be coaching children’s sports anymore at Kare Youth League and RHLA. This means that my focus will be on school, work, and music.
Basically, being in a band conflicts my continuing to be a coach there. Althought I had to make a choice, I felt that it was God's way to tell me that I need to look elsewhere. (There's other factors, but that's ultimately the one that matters the most.)
Didn't you like coaching? Absolutely! I've enjoyed coaching ever since 8th grade. In Tuesday's clubmeeting, I had the toughest job of telling my boys that this would be my last week. Some of them were shocked, and pleaded if I could stay for soccer. It was extremely difficult to be upfront with them, especially since I don't want to persuade any of them to leave Kare because of me
So, you're leaving to go all in for the band? Well, I guess so! I do know that I'm finding a lot of joy when it comes to playing guitar in our band. Our music isn't Christian, per se, but we are Christians that enjoy it. We're not sure what our goal is, but we're getting pretty serious. (If all the equipment we've bought in the past year and a half isn't proof, I don't know what is!)
I know the preconception that bands don't necessarily turn out as positive influences. The rock lifestyle (money, drugs, and sex) is probably in the minds of most people. However, I feel that as long as I surround myself with people I know I can trust, with God, we won't turn out that way.
If someone sees God's light through me, then what better satisfaction do I have? Ultimately, I felt confident that God wanted me to do this.
What's your calling in life? I know at one point in time, I felt called to RHLA. But things change. I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to be doing, but I have faith that God will open doors as I go on. If anything, I'll get finish college and pay off my credit cards paid. ;)
I'd like to quote a few paragraphs from "The Purpose-Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?" that helped me come to grips with "this whole band thing". (It's so awkward to a lot of people, I'm sure, it's literally said like that.) The question that I can't quite answer is, "How is your music uplifting God?" But…
You may feel like the only time God is pleased with you is when you're doing "spiritual" activities [...] Actually, God enjoys watching every detail of your life, whether you are working, playing, resting, or eating. He doesn't miss a single move you make. The Bible tells us, "The steps of the godly are directed by the LORD. He delights in every detail of their lives." [Psalm 37:23 (NLT)]
Every human activity, except sin, can be done for God's pleasure if you do it with an attitude of praise.
Like a proud parent, God especially enjoys watching you use the talents and abilities he has given you. God intentionally gifted us differently for his enjoyment. [...] "He has shaped each person in turn; now he watches everything we do." [Psalm 33:15 (Msg)]
You don't bring glory or pleasure to God by hiding your abilities or by trying to be someone else. You only bring him enjoyment by being you. Anytime you reject any part of yourself, you are rejecting God's wisdom and sovereignty in creating you. God says, "You have no right to argue with your Creator. You are merely a clay pot shaped by a potter. The clay doesn't ask, 'Why did you make me this way?'" [Isaiah 45:9 (CEV)]
Here are some other verses (related to confidence) that helped me:
1 John 3:19-22 (NLT) – It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord, even if our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our conscience is clear, we can come to God with bold confidence. And we will receive whatever we request because we obey him and do the things that please him.
2 Corinthians 3:4-5 (NIV) – Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.
Jeremiah 17:7 (NIV) – But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.
And about God closing doors:
Acts 16:6-10 (NLT) – Next Paul and Silas traveled through the area of Phrygia and Galatia, because the Holy Spirit had told them not to go into the province of Asia at that time. Then coming to the borders of Mysia, they headed for the province of Bithynia, but again the Spirit of Jesus did not let them go. So instead, they went on through Mysia to the city of Troas.
That night Paul had a vision. He saw a man from Macedonia in northern Greece, pleading with him, "Come over here and help us." So we decided to leave for Macedonia at once, for we could only conclude that God was calling us to preach the Good News there.
I'm sorry I couldn't say all of this face to face.
To my leaders: I'm so thankful for all you've done for me. I've been so blessed with a lot of people that care for me, and I can't imagine having been brought up in a better place. The previous two sentences don't do you justice.
To my friends: I love you all. I hope you realize that even though I'm an only child, you've all made me feel like I had a huge family. It's so hard to hang out will all of you, because there's so many of you! All the experiences I've had with you definitely helped make me how I am today. (I think it was God's plan for me to be in RHLA for this long, so I can gain from all of you in the program. Who knows what would've happened if I graduated in 4-5 years?) I know I'm not moving, but I will be leaving behind a part of my life that has been with me ever since I was five years old.
Why are you writing all this in public? I don't know. This seems easiest to me, and I can share the verses and text that helped me. If making this public helps a few people, then it's worth it.
Well, I think that's all I can say about this. Where to next? For the summer, work and music. Other than the fact that I'm not going to be coaching anymore, I don't think much else will change about me. So, call me! We can still hang out, if that's okay with you. :)
Update: I changed the verses from 1 John 3:20-22 (NIV) to 1 John 3:19-22 (NLT).
Update 2: I added the verses from Acts 16:6-10 in regards to God opening and closing doors.
Bryan! Such a good post :) I will be bookmarking it and referencing the scriptural passages you pointed out. I’m so happy you have found God’s call through this and that you have taken a step outside your comfort zone. It’s so hard as a Christian to do that, but God calls us to live outside our comfort zones. I know it will be hard to leave RHLA and coaching behind, but as you said — God opens doors!
Don’t forget me when your band becomes huge ;) I’ll be your number one fan (next to God of course ;) ).
Bryan,
There are many Godly people out there in the real world. You will be surprised though how high your morals are compared to other people who say are Christians. Don’t ever forget them. I am so grateful for the lessons we were taught at RHP. I am not overly zealous about being a Christian but I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. If you stay true to yourself and hold on to the morals you were brought up in, you will see that people will notice you are different. Without even saying a word to them about your religion they will see that you are not like everyone else. You will meet so many people who never had the opportunities we experienced at RHP. I wish you well and good luck in your future endeavors!
Your brother from a different mother,
Larry
@Larry: Thanks for taking the time out of your extremely busy schedule to write that; it means a lot to me.
You don’t always have to understand to know. This was a great post. Love you man.